Friday, July 27, 2012

Fifty Shades of...Insanity

Before I start my review of the Fifty shades series I need to first state that I LOVE to read and for the most part I read trashy romance novels so with that I give you my review of Fifty Shades (SPOILERS included)

Okay so I will admit I succumbed to the peer pressure of the summer and read Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker AND Fifty Shades Freed.
We were going on vacation and from what I heard these books sounded like good trashy beach reads. Not the case unless you are 12 and have NO idea about sex. First this is a book series that supposedly has gotten America’s women back into the bedroom…to do what???? I am sincerely hoping America’s women were not turned on by the sexual descriptions in these books because if so I suggest checking out Sandra Brown’s earlier books or anything by Carly Phillips, much trashier  and the women in those books call their private areas something other than …”down there.So now that I have finished the whole series, the “action” was a little better in the third book but….

Second these two have more sex than horny, sex addicted teenagers. Okay I understand being turned on by your significant other but EVERY time they looked at each other one or the other was alluding to sex, by the third book I was rolling my eyes saying... “AGAIN.” Obviously this is not real life based or the sex only lasts for 2 minutes each time (which is NOT good) because honestly there is not enough time in the day to have this much sex, eat, sleep, and work. Oh or argue because if they weren’t having sex they were most likely arguing about something or other, which would then lead to sex because as we all know sex solves EVERYTHING. I was “proud” of Christian for being able to sustain when Ana was injured. She on the other hand was insatiable!!
Also while from time to time Ana has a backbone for the most part she is a sniveling, naive woman and as a woman who has a backbone and does not cower under a man this irritated me. When he is finally giving her what she wants she continuously questions him and worries about being “right” for him.While reading book 2 at some point I wished I could step into the book,strangle her and yell “he said you are the one he loves, get it through your thick skull and move on” For a smart woman she was VERY dumb when it came to listening to the simple words that were coming out of Christian’s mouth.  And if we heard about her inner goddess once we heard about her 500 times!!! By the 20th time I saw Ana’s inner goddess referred to I skipped that section. Her inner goddess reminded me of Lizzie McGuire’s cartoon self in the Disney show Lizzie McGuire; when an issue came up the human Lizzie McGuire would “think” using her cartoon Lizzie McGuire...Anyways I digress.

These were books to pass the time while traveling but by the third book I think I only truly read 200 of the 451 (according to Kindle on iPhone) pages, this does not say much about the writing or really the storyline.  These books did not get me back in the bedroom (sorry Kyle) but they were okay one time reads, not really ownable as I will never pick them up again.

If you read these books what did you think and what made YOU pick them up????

1 comment:

  1. You know my thoughts and I agree with everything you mentioned. No woman should strive to be an "Ana" or want someone as messed up as a "Christian"!